Excellence by Cynthia Moore

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Excellence by Cynthia Moore

Cynthia spoke at our women’s meeting on December 18, 2010

Excellence means to do more than warranted.  To go beyond what you have to do. To do better, not just get by.  It takes work to achieve excellence.

Why do we want to be excellent.

1. It pleases God and it makes things go better and gives us a better life.

Psalm 16:3  As for the saints who are on the earth, “They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”

We want to be excellent, and do more than is required of us.

2. We want to be excellent for our families.

It’s better for us and we set an example to lead them toward their best; what we want them to be.

3. For us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a   Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails.

When we walk by love, love never fails, and we will have excellence.

Love is a choice, not an emotion.  It is not something that comes on you, you choose.

When people deserve love the least is when they need it the most.

1 John 4:7-11  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.  He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.  In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Sonto be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Remember always: GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE NEVER FAILS

The key to maintaining excellence is to keep things in the right priority. First God, then Family, then all others.

Cynthia then started speaking from the bottom of the list – the all others.  She had props to represent the various areas.  For job she put up her hair and looked professional

One area is  excellence in your job.

You want to dress well and look like you are going to work.  You want to do the best job you can and there are things that you can do to help you in this.

First you need to respect the hierarchy, those who are placed over you.

1 Peter 2:13-17  Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake, whether to the king as supreme, or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good.  For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men— as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God.  Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

We represent God at work and need to do more than enough.  God will let us know when it is time to stop a particular job.  Don’t shirk, don’t complain, or do the least amount possible.

Proverbs 13:11 Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, but he who gathers by labor will increase.

Do your best.  Your attitude toward work also affects your performance.

ELIMINATE A NEGATIVE OUTLOOK IF YOU DESIRE A POSITIVE OUTCOME.

That is how you begin to win with people.

Then Cynthia spoke about excellence in Friendship and Relationships.

Cynthia read a story about a elderly man sitting by the side of the road.  A stranger walked up to him and asked him about the nearby town. The elderly man asked the stranger what were the people like in the town you left.  The stranger said that they were backbiters, striving to get ahead, quarrelsome, evil, etc.  And the elderly man said that that described the people in the town he lived in.

Another stranger came up to the same elderly man and asked the same question – the elderly man told the stranger to tell the him about the people in the town he just left.  The stranger said they were warm, loving, kind, generous.  The elderly man said that that was the  kind of people in his town.

Why two opposite replies for the same town?  Because the kinds of things you notice in other people are the kind of person you are and you will look at strangers through the filter of the way you perceive the world.  The first stranger will find the backbiters, and the second one will find the loving, kind and generous people.

HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE, AND ARE EASILY HURT.

We need to get over ourselves and seek to understand them.  Begin to look at things with a new perspective and when you are upset, instead of reacting, go to the person and politely ask them, “Did you mean to tick me off?”

Figure out what pushes your buttons, what makes you respond in ways you respond. Are you acting line your cynical mother?  Look at yourself objectively to see what makes you tick.

BE SLOW TO TAKE OFFENCE AND EASY TO FORGIVE.

When something offends you, don’t be so quick to react.  Take a step away and figure out what caused such a great reaction.  Analyze the situation to find out why you do or don’t do the thing.  Forgive right away.

AVOID TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

You have relationships in life, church, and the job with people who bring you down and are a drain. Be charitable and walk in love, but sometimes when a situation is not helping you or the other person you need to sweetly sever the relationship.  That doesn’t mean you shun the person or avoid them at all costs, but you do limit the amount that they can influence your life.  Some people are jealous, controlling, always depressed and inconsolable, and are a bottomless pit of emotional needs.  You can be friendly but not emotionally involved in their lives.

Seek positive friendships that edify and not tear your down.

Ecclesiastes 4:9  Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.

C. S. Lewis said about friendship:  “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”

We are created to be in community.

True friendship contains mutual spiritual encouragement.  It is giving and taking, not just taking.

You sincerely want the other person to reach their potential and honestly seek to help them do this.

True friendship helps you to sustain the weight of truth.

We need to be excellent with the people we are over, with people on our job, our clients, those in our social circles and clubs

In areas of authority, judgment, and counseling we should not consider ourselves more holy then them.

The next role we are in is that of MOTHER.  Cynthia put on an apron and put her hair in a ponytail.

A relationship with your child has to be taught, they are born not knowing anything.

It bothers Cynthia when she sees parents that let their little children run crazy, and disrespect others.  She reminded us that what is cute at the age of three and younger is not cute when they get older.  A loving parent will set boundaries for their children, because the discipline that you instill early on will give them the skills to succeed as adults.

As a mother, your job is to teach the children how the world runs.

She used to tell her children, God is over me, I am over you, and we are a family.  We need to take care of each other and work out problems in love.

Ephesians 6:1-4  Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother,”which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”  And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

We are in relationship, and we need teach our children to respect themselves and others.

We do discipline them, but the term discipline means to disciple, to teach.  It is not to be brutal.  The punishment you mete out to your children will change with their ages and ability to comprehend.

Without discipline we can’t be excellent or successful.

By the way, we are not only mothers to our birth children, but many of us are spiritual mothers to those who are new in the Lord.  Our job as a mother is to teach and instruct.

DISCIPLINE IN LOVE.

Discipline in love at the right time and place and age appropriate.  Cynthia mentioned how she was driving her son and some friends to an event and her son and his friends were using inappropriate swear words.  Cynthia did not confront her son in front of his friends and embarrass him.  She waited until they were alone in a situation where they were quietly talking and told him how she did not appreciate that behavior.  It never happened again, and the discipline occurred without damaging the relationship.

We must TEACH OUR CHILDREN ABOUT GOD AND HOW TO OBEY GOD.

Deuteronomy 6:4-7  Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

PROVIDE LOVE, SECURITY, A SENSE OF BELONGING, AND INDEPENDENCE

Our children are people and our goal is to create independent adults.  We have a hard time transitioning and letting go.  There is something wrong with still calling a ten-year- old your baby.

There are some people who try to live their lives through their kids.  Our goal is to push them out gently. Cynthia describes it in terms of having them on a fishing pole.   You let the line out some and if they do well, you let it out some more.  If they mess up, you reel them a bit closer for a time and then gradually let the line out again.  As they show they are mature, you need to let them make decisions in accordance with their maturity level until one day they are no longer attached to the fishing pole.

Our goal is to help our children function as disciplined, mature adults.

In all challenges we face as mothers remember: GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE NEVER FAILS.

The next role we covered is WIFE And over her suit she placed a sheer robe.

To begin this segment we watched a small segment of a discussion between Beth Moore, Kaye Arthur, and Priscilla Shrier from Faithful, Abundant, True

It was so funny, but pointed out how the wife needs to support her husband’s needs, even over the needs of the children.  Men’s greatest needs are sexual and self esteem.  Especially in these hard times, the husband needs to feel loved by his wife.  If you have never watched that video, you can get it from Lifeway International.  I highly recommend it.  It is the panel discussion from this series.

Even if you are single it is important to learn how to be a good wife, because when you are married you will then be able to be a better wife.  An unmarried woman has a wonderful opportunity to develop herself into a Godly woman while she waits on God’s plans for her life.

1 Corinthians 7:32-34 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.

Cynthia summed up the biggest difference between men and women.  She said that wives want to have everything ok and in order before having sex, and for husbands sex makes everything all right.  She suggested that if there are major discussions you want to have with your husband, deal with the sexual aspect first and then he will be more receptive to listen.

Even when there are major money issues, best to deal with sex first, then the financial problems.

MARRIAGE IS A COMPROMISE.  Through marriage you grow, mature, and get away from being self-centered.  It forces us to grow and get over ourselves.

We want to love our husbands. Sex is a need for them.  The need and desire builds in them and if they are not satisfied, it comes out in other ways.

If you don’t want your husband seeking an affair, it is important to take care of his needs. The need for pornography is removed if the wife is being a wife to her husband.

DON’T EMASCULATE YOUR HUSBAND all day and then at night expect him to rise up and be masculine.

He needs to know that you want him, you need him and you desire him.  Put wood on the fire of romance. You can make time and set up romantic situations without spending a lot of money.

At one point before he became a pastor, Pastor Don worked nights.  Cynthia set up an ironing board in her bedroom with a candle, sparkling juice and cheese and crackers, and got dressed in a romantic nightgown.  When Pastor Don came home she and he talked and had a romantic interlude.

The husband needs to feel wanted, desired, and loved.  He comes first before the kids.  Communication comes with the relationship.

When things seem too hard remember: GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Excellence in your relationship with God  Cynthia had a Bible as a prop.

To have a love affair with God requires a spirit of excellence.  We cannot expect a relationship with God if all we do is sit in a pew on Sundays.  We need to find time, motivation, and make the effort to do it.

God wants to commune with you.

Cynthia says you can do your work to praise and worship music, sing to God, pray in tongues while you work.

Make talking and listening to God a priority. Desire to do it. Remember, perfection came when He came.

We need to know God’s Word and spend time in it so we know what God desires.

Joshua 1:8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

Psalm 119:11 Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.

Meditate on the Word of God day and night and keep it hidden in your heart.  To get into the Word you may have to restructure your time.  Get up earlier before your family rises, turn off the TV, put down whatever is distracting you.

God is so happy to be with His people.  God wants us to desire, need, and want to be with Him.

Pray in tongues as you go along.  The benefits are supernatural.

Excellence in your Self.  Cynthia had a mirror.

She pointed out that we see ourselves reflected in all aspects of our life.

When we think we are giving out to others, the THE TRUTH IS THAT IT IS ALL ABOUT SELF.

When you go to work and you do an excellent job, it’s all about you and what you are reflecting.
When you raise disciplined kids it is all about you.

When you are a good wife, a Proverbs 31 woman it’s all about you.

God is reflected in you through what you do, so it is all about you.

Excellence is doing things God’s way, and when we focus on doing things God’s way He provides all that we need

GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE NEVER FAILS.

***

I have to say this was an excellent presentation, and truthfully as we deal in excellence in our lives, God gains the glory.

Have a blessed day.

Heather

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About Heather Marsten

Welcome to Heather's Blog. I'm looking forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. I just moved about nine years of material over from another blog site, Xanga, who may close down mid-July. At first I was disappointed to make the move because I had a lifetime membership at Xanga and had to spend weeks transferring posts. But now I'm thrilled. Already I've met new bloggers and read many new websites. Blogging is a wonderful way to expand my horizons and garner new ideas. I'm a happily married mom of three young adults. My husband and I are proud to watch our children grow and venture out into the world. My daughter is still in college but my two sons have graduated. One has a job and the other just graduated and is in the process of finding a job in his field, physics. Anyone know of any jobs out there? I'm proud of our children and love watching them grow and mature. They've become fine, compassionate, and loving people. Empty nest? Nah, I'm too busy to let an empty nest bother me. Not enough hours in the day. My husband and I enjoy quiet time together and I have many interests to pursue - one of which is blogging :D I am a born-again believer and love God. As you read this blog, you will discover that Bible studies thrill me. There is so much wisdom contained between the covers of the Bible and I am fortunate to sit under the teachings of a remarkable pastor, Pastor Don Moore. Members of our church (Living Word Chapel in West Hurley, New York) are encouraged to teach and there are visiting pastors who stop by our church, I also study the Bible on my own and love sharing what I learn. One other passion is writing. My current work in process is a memoir. A scene from my memoir was published in a book called: Heavenly Company: Entertaining Angels Unaware - an anthology of angelic encounters compiled by Cecil Murphy. I'm hoping my memoir will encourage other survivors of abuse. I grew up in a home filled with abuse, including incest. For most of my life I was searching for something that would fill the void of not being loved by my parents. I tried many ways to find that love -- therapy, relationships, occult studies, and keeping my life so filled I had no way to think about my past. It was only when I discovered God that I was able to put the pieces of my life back together and walk forward in a joyous life. My nickname - wondering has changed from wondering where the heck God was in my life, to wondering what incredible adventure is going to happen next. I hope you enjoy my site. Please say hi, share some thoughts, and ask questions. I look forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. Have a blessed day. Heather
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