Personal stuff, notes on Breaking Free

Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Today has not been a stellar day for me, after a year of working with my Girl Scouts to raise money for a weekend at Rocking Horse Ranch, yesterday my daughter informed me she is figuring it will be a miserable weekend, because of certain conditions – one of them being me, the other being the endless worry about pairing of kids, and the fact that two of the girls tend to hang together and exclude her, and the fourth girl tends to stick with her mom, and Katherine doesn’t want to deal with me. These could be untrue situations, but her imagination is running wild. For some reason she changed from being so sweet on Saturday where we had a splendid mother/daughter day to being a shrew – and truthfully there was nothing I did or said to merit the kind of abuse I got. In the car driving home last night from our meeting she was pretty nasty, so I started praying under my breath- it was either pray or say something I would regret later – then both my daughter and my son started yelling at me for being annoying because I was praying. sigh.

After I dropped a book off for my son this morning I saw her, and told her that we don’t have to go, I can get the money refunded to the troop. She then said, I’ll go, but in such a way that it was apparent that it would be with longsuffering. I came home later than she did today and I think my husband talked with her because she said she wanted to go, and that she loved me, and it doesn’t help. The joy of the weekend has been sucked out for me. Yet, before I got home in my heart to heart with God, I had forgiven her, prayed for her, and sort of calmed down. I don’t know if I am ever going to be able to survive the teenage years of my kids. I also know that I have to work on my attitude and make the weekend fun again.

Well, the interesting thing is that I sat down because the kids are out and about and picked up my Beth Moore Breaking Free Bible study, and what are we discussing? God’s unfailing love. This topic I needed today!

I want to share it with you, but by having you actually do some of the work yourself, it is kind of cool. Material is pulled from pages 160-162 of the book.

She talks about  Isaiah 54:10 “‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Then she gives us the Hebrew meaning for the word compassion – racham which means to soothe, cherish, love deeply like parents, be compassionate be tender, it refers to a strong love, rooted in a natural bond, often from a superior to an inferior – and then part of the definition is small babies evoke this feeling.

She then talks about how teenagers are probably difficult (difficult?????knock me over with a feather) to make it easier for parents to push them out of the nest. Makes sense to me.

But then Beth says, ” All our lives God retains the strong feelings toward us that infants evoke in their parents. Do you realize why? Because He never has to let us go! God is not rearing us to be independent of Him. He’s not rearing us to leave home! God is rearing us to come home!” p. 160

Now my Bible (NKJV) – uses the word Mercy in the refrain, but the NIV Bible uses the word Love – in this case I think Love is a good word.

We were told to read Psalm 136 and find the main theme of the chapter. Which is:___________________________________________________________.

We then broke down the verses to the following categories: God the Creator, God the Conqueror, God the Compassionate one – (an example verse 1 = “for He is Good – would go under compassionate).

Then Beth says, that God’s works change, but His love stays simple, steady, and strong. And then she adds (and this is true) that the moment we think we’ve grasped His ways, figured out His methods, they change.

We read Isaiah 55:8-11 (another good thing to read),

Then we had to write four statements reflecting variables in our life.

And then (the cool part) we added the refrain from 136 between the four statements – thus writing a very personal and simple Psalm.

We then read Romans 8:38-39 – and again put in personal things in the following blanks,

For I am convinced that neither __________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
will separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Then Beth mentioned how Nazi war camp prisoners were sometimes loaded on a train to be transported to a death camp, and she said this: “If we don’t allow God’s truth to take up full residency in our hearts, we may learn just enough to move out of one prison into another. We’ll probably echo the words of Psalm 51:6 many times before our study concludes: “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the innermost place.”

That is as far as I have gone in Day one of this week’s lesson, family came home and I have to get dinner together because my daughter’s middle school band concert and chorus is tonight. I will share more with you as I do more of the lesson, but I am so grateful to God to have instigated the lessons to give me one in season that I needed. And I suspect that I will be muttering to myself, Even though ________ happens, His love endures forever. I need to hold onto that thought.

Hope you are having a peaceful and wonderful day, and know that He also loves us in the peaceful and wonderful days, I wouldn’t mind one of those myself.

Heather

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About Heather Marsten

Welcome to Heather's Blog. I'm looking forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. I just moved about nine years of material over from another blog site, Xanga, who may close down mid-July. At first I was disappointed to make the move because I had a lifetime membership at Xanga and had to spend weeks transferring posts. But now I'm thrilled. Already I've met new bloggers and read many new websites. Blogging is a wonderful way to expand my horizons and garner new ideas. I'm a happily married mom of three young adults. My husband and I are proud to watch our children grow and venture out into the world. My daughter is still in college but my two sons have graduated. One has a job and the other just graduated and is in the process of finding a job in his field, physics. Anyone know of any jobs out there? I'm proud of our children and love watching them grow and mature. They've become fine, compassionate, and loving people. Empty nest? Nah, I'm too busy to let an empty nest bother me. Not enough hours in the day. My husband and I enjoy quiet time together and I have many interests to pursue - one of which is blogging :D I am a born-again believer and love God. As you read this blog, you will discover that Bible studies thrill me. There is so much wisdom contained between the covers of the Bible and I am fortunate to sit under the teachings of a remarkable pastor, Pastor Don Moore. Members of our church (Living Word Chapel in West Hurley, New York) are encouraged to teach and there are visiting pastors who stop by our church, I also study the Bible on my own and love sharing what I learn. One other passion is writing. My current work in process is a memoir. A scene from my memoir was published in a book called: Heavenly Company: Entertaining Angels Unaware - an anthology of angelic encounters compiled by Cecil Murphy. I'm hoping my memoir will encourage other survivors of abuse. I grew up in a home filled with abuse, including incest. For most of my life I was searching for something that would fill the void of not being loved by my parents. I tried many ways to find that love -- therapy, relationships, occult studies, and keeping my life so filled I had no way to think about my past. It was only when I discovered God that I was able to put the pieces of my life back together and walk forward in a joyous life. My nickname - wondering has changed from wondering where the heck God was in my life, to wondering what incredible adventure is going to happen next. I hope you enjoy my site. Please say hi, share some thoughts, and ask questions. I look forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. Have a blessed day. Heather
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