Reading Why? by Anne Graham Lotz, personal stuff, photos

Sunday, June 19, 2005
Currently reading WHY? Trusting God When You Don’t Understand by Anne Graham Lotz.It makes some interesting points about trusting the hand of God even when you don’t experience it or see it. That God can help you soar over your problems, etc.

Beth Moore also had traumas that she had to overcome, Joyce Meyer, lots of spiritual leaders seem to have had these challenges.

One underlying factor in their lives though seems to be that they had God first, then the problems came up. And they had the basis of their relationship with God to lean on.

What troubles me, is (very selfishly) people in my situation, where the troubles were intense before I even really knew that God existed, when I was a child.

I know that troubles are tough no matter whether or not you believe in God, but why would God (who knows our complete lives before we were born), throw such a challenge on a child before they have any feet to stand on. I know that it took a long time for me to sort out things enough to ask God into my life, but I also know that there are many from similar situations to mine, some on Xanga, that have turned their backs on God, like I did for 40 years, only they won’t turn back to God.

Why would a loving God risk his relationship with his children by putting such obstacles in their path.

I don’t know if I am asking this question clearly or not. But sometimes when I read a book by whom I consider to be a very spiritual person and they talk about how their faith pulled them through the trial, it hurts, because I wasn’t given that faith by God first, before the fiery trials. Makes me wonder. Sorry for the pity party, but things are tough right now emotionally for me.

Any ideas?


Yesterday we had a lot of fun. My oldest was invited to a birthday party, and there were canoes. When we went to pick him up, we were allowed to use the canoes, so here are pictures of my two sons, my husband and Katherine canoeing.



Now, Katherine did row, but she was taking a break for a few minutes. It was a beautiful day, so we stayed and played.

Glad Xanga is back up and running!!!



About Heather Marsten

Welcome to Heather's Blog. I'm looking forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. I just moved about nine years of material over from another blog site, Xanga, who may close down mid-July. At first I was disappointed to make the move because I had a lifetime membership at Xanga and had to spend weeks transferring posts. But now I'm thrilled. Already I've met new bloggers and read many new websites. Blogging is a wonderful way to expand my horizons and garner new ideas. I'm a happily married mom of three young adults. My husband and I are proud to watch our children grow and venture out into the world. My daughter is still in college but my two sons have graduated. One has a job and the other just graduated and is in the process of finding a job in his field, physics. Anyone know of any jobs out there? I'm proud of our children and love watching them grow and mature. They've become fine, compassionate, and loving people. Empty nest? Nah, I'm too busy to let an empty nest bother me. Not enough hours in the day. My husband and I enjoy quiet time together and I have many interests to pursue - one of which is blogging :D I am a born-again believer and love God. As you read this blog, you will discover that Bible studies thrill me. There is so much wisdom contained between the covers of the Bible and I am fortunate to sit under the teachings of a remarkable pastor, Pastor Don Moore. Members of our church (Living Word Chapel in West Hurley, New York) are encouraged to teach and there are visiting pastors who stop by our church, I also study the Bible on my own and love sharing what I learn. One other passion is writing. My current work in process is a memoir. A scene from my memoir was published in a book called: Heavenly Company: Entertaining Angels Unaware - an anthology of angelic encounters compiled by Cecil Murphy. I'm hoping my memoir will encourage other survivors of abuse. I grew up in a home filled with abuse, including incest. For most of my life I was searching for something that would fill the void of not being loved by my parents. I tried many ways to find that love -- therapy, relationships, occult studies, and keeping my life so filled I had no way to think about my past. It was only when I discovered God that I was able to put the pieces of my life back together and walk forward in a joyous life. My nickname - wondering has changed from wondering where the heck God was in my life, to wondering what incredible adventure is going to happen next. I hope you enjoy my site. Please say hi, share some thoughts, and ask questions. I look forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. Have a blessed day. Heather
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