Third day and some personal thoughts

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Interesting Bible study this week on the 3rd day, but there is much to process before I can share, and we didn’t get to finish completely. A few interesting things is that there is a progression from deliverance to holiness to prosperity. And that pattern is seen all over the Bible. For example, Exodus delivered, then holiness the wandering in the wilderness to prepare for the promised land, then the promised land.Another interesting thing that I hadn’t thought about is that the Bible starts with a wedding and ends with a wedding. Kind of cool.I am almost done with Buchanan’s book, but here is an interesting idea that touched me.

P.149 -150 “Our lives should be lived with expectancy. Not necessarily with expectation, because expectation tends to dictate terms. The Pharisees lived with expectation and rejected Christ when He did not fit the rigid narrowness of their expectations. Often I wonder if we, waiting for Christ’s return, do it more with expectation than expectancy. Expectancy is the belief that God will do something. Expectation insists He did it in just this way. Sometimes expectation blinds us more to the God who is here right now than outright disbelief does. The Pharisees couldn’t see Jesus for looking. Or those two disciples on the road to Emmaus. There they are, bemoaning the absence of the very one who’s present with them. What made them deaf and blind? Expectations: “We had hoped He was the one who was going to redeem Israel.” But that hope took a form that shut out surprises, like crosses and resurrection and a deeper redemption.”

I think that I view God in my past with disappointed expectation. I expected Him to do something to stop my father. Expectancy would not have helped back then. I needed interaction, God striking my father dead, God stopping my father, God reaching down and comforting me, God finding me a new home earlier on, God, making my father repent, I could come up with a few actions that God could have done. Instead He did nothing. Frankly I do get puzzled at the unevenness of God’s interventions. One time he saves a life, the next time He doesn’t. But an 8 year old has a hard time understanding God not doing anything. And yet this God wants our trust and belief. Hard to think of God with expectancy in the midst of a crisis.

Sometimes I feel like a mouse in an insidious maze, one that gives a promise of hope but it is all smoke and shadows.

Heather

About Heather Marsten

Welcome to Heather's Blog. I'm looking forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. I just moved about nine years of material over from another blog site, Xanga, who may close down mid-July. At first I was disappointed to make the move because I had a lifetime membership at Xanga and had to spend weeks transferring posts. But now I'm thrilled. Already I've met new bloggers and read many new websites. Blogging is a wonderful way to expand my horizons and garner new ideas. I'm a happily married mom of three young adults. My husband and I are proud to watch our children grow and venture out into the world. My daughter is still in college but my two sons have graduated. One has a job and the other just graduated and is in the process of finding a job in his field, physics. Anyone know of any jobs out there? I'm proud of our children and love watching them grow and mature. They've become fine, compassionate, and loving people. Empty nest? Nah, I'm too busy to let an empty nest bother me. Not enough hours in the day. My husband and I enjoy quiet time together and I have many interests to pursue - one of which is blogging :D I am a born-again believer and love God. As you read this blog, you will discover that Bible studies thrill me. There is so much wisdom contained between the covers of the Bible and I am fortunate to sit under the teachings of a remarkable pastor, Pastor Don Moore. Members of our church (Living Word Chapel in West Hurley, New York) are encouraged to teach and there are visiting pastors who stop by our church, I also study the Bible on my own and love sharing what I learn. One other passion is writing. My current work in process is a memoir. A scene from my memoir was published in a book called: Heavenly Company: Entertaining Angels Unaware - an anthology of angelic encounters compiled by Cecil Murphy. I'm hoping my memoir will encourage other survivors of abuse. I grew up in a home filled with abuse, including incest. For most of my life I was searching for something that would fill the void of not being loved by my parents. I tried many ways to find that love -- therapy, relationships, occult studies, and keeping my life so filled I had no way to think about my past. It was only when I discovered God that I was able to put the pieces of my life back together and walk forward in a joyous life. My nickname - wondering has changed from wondering where the heck God was in my life, to wondering what incredible adventure is going to happen next. I hope you enjoy my site. Please say hi, share some thoughts, and ask questions. I look forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. Have a blessed day. Heather
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